Important things I have lost:
- That patch of the wallpaper we kept for memory when we moved to a new flat. It had bunnies on it. Washed out, pale bunnies.
- That skirt I wore for the first time, a passed down from my sister as I was never a girly girl, as I was never encouraged to wear frilly clothes, not to mention skirts, because I wasn’t a twig.
- My father. The memory of his voice. The exact colour of his eyes.
- The belief that I am good enough.
- My virginity. I wasn’t particularly fond of or attached to it, and I am pretty sure I took care of it myself. But it’s something that girls should forever remember, and I do recall my first time with a man… It was awful.
- My conciousness, a few times.
- Memories of things I did while drunk.
- Memories of being happy, truly, unconditionally.
- My first dog.
- My ability to let go.
Important things I have abandoned:
- My country.
- My family.
- My creativity, at times.
- Diet and exercise plans, by the dozen.
- My second dog.
- My inhibition, at the worst of times.
- People who were harmful to me, finally.
- Ideas when they became too real.
- Opportunities half pursued.
- Excuses when shit got real.